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Resistance is a war with yourself

Resistance is the first step to change – Louisa Hay

Freud says it best about resistance, the big elephant in the room in the way to what is stopping you?

He called it a death wish, he said

“That destructive force inside human nature that rises whenever we consider a tough long term course of action that might do for us or others something that is actually good”

You can listen to the episode here:

I come across people on a regular basis, who,  with great conviction, say how much they want to write a book, start a business or pursue a passion.

This is then closely followed by a laundry list of reasons why it hasn’t happened yet.

I find it very, very sad; so many people are trapped in this world of resistance.

The distance between a desire to do something and actually doing it.

Many people live here, sad and frustrated and “living lives of quiet desperation with their song still inside of them” or something like that as a famous writer once said.

Is this you?  Are you finding…

  • Yourself facing obstacles, real or imagined on the path you want to go with your business idea?
  • You want to start but find you keep doing other things instead?
  • You make plans to really get going, after work, or at the weekend but end up watching TV instead?

If so you are facing something very normal called resistance.

It will show up and try to stop you moving forward, usually right at the beginning of when you want to start something.

It will try and convince you your obstacles are a mountain that you cannot climb.

But like most mountains there is usually a path, lower down, around it, you don’t always have to go straight up to get to the top.

So why not take the easier route?

So let’s take a look at some of those rocks in your pathway.

Recognising they are there means you can do something about them.

And before you start analysing your resistance, the number one rule you need to take on board is…

Be Honest With Yourself

You need to ask yourself the right, honest questions in order to get the right, honest answers.

Here are a few of them to get you thinking.

Resistance Issue - Fear

What am I afraid of?

Fear is a funny thing, often described as False Evidence Appearing Real.

False evidence that really doesn’t have any substance except in your own mind.

  • Are you afraid of failing or family and friends making fun of you or not supporting you?
  • Afraid of not being good enough?
  • Afraid of doing well and people not liking you anymore?
  • Afraid of cultural issues?

Find out what it is you are afraid of, and then face it head on.

Talk to your family and friends about your feelings, you might find you are completely off base and they can actually help you,

Conversely, you will know best if it might be wiser to keep your thoughts to yourself and get on with things quietly.

But get on with them you must, don’t stop the ball rolling.

I think everyone including the best of the best feel they are not good enough so don’t think it is just you.

Richard Branson started at the bottom and I am sure he was nervous to begin with many times in his career.

I suggest you read others stories about starting and listen to podcasts of people who have been where you are now.

Find your own personal mentors to go to at difficult times for immediate inspiration.

You will realise everyone has the same fears and doubts at the beginning.

No one can get you over them but you can help yourself to gain confidence.

Remember when you learned to swim? Eventually you let go of the side and you could swim.

Learn to let go of the side.

If you weren’t nervous, I would be worried.

Resistance  Issue - Avoidance?

Are you concerned you don’t know the how?

It will be a great disservice to the world if you don’t share your knowledge and experience just because you don’t know how to do or be something, right this minute.

Every great person/place/thing/invention and started with a day one and a lack of knowledge

No one starts anything fully formed and perfect.

But what they do have in common is they started.

So get down to it and learn what it is you need to know, or find someone you can pay to do what you can’t or won’t do.

Book keeping is a perfect example.

The thought of it is enough to freeze the wheels of motion, but, realistically, if you are just starting, why are you making an issue out of it?

Can you buy a book, find a friend, find someone locally who can do your books for you?

Or learn as you go along.

There is always an answer, you just have to stop and think, and also ask around your network.

Someone somewhere will have the answer for you, whatever the problem is.

A more pressing rock in the road should be…

Are you avoiding doing the work because you are just a bit lazy?

If so, then don’t pursue a business idea, you are just daydreaming.

You will never get a business off the ground watching Netflix and drinking beer.

Actually not knowing how is only 1 of 8 other things you are probably avoiding that will cause resistance on your path.

Read about those 8 other ones here

Resistance  Issue - Money Beliefs

You don't do anything because you are thinking "I don’t believe I can make money from it"

Self-belief is everything and if you don’t have any, it will be a crippler.

But this one is an easy fix.

Look around you, who else is doing what you want to do?

Have they created a business?

If the answer is no, then you will be either

  • First to market, which might be the case or
  • There is no market

One of the best litmus tests is to see who else is successful doing your thing their way, and where they are doing it.

Take MacDonald’s, the fast food chain as an example.

Before they ever opened up a store, they looked around to see who else was in town in the location they wanted.

If there were lots of fast food restaurants, they built a store.

They didn’t worry about competition because they knew there was a market; it was being demonstrated right before their eyes.

Want To Read More about Resistance

If you want to read more about this curse called resistance, I highly recommend the book by Stephen Pressfield called The War of Art.

And it is a war, with you

He encourages you to break through blocks and win your inner creative battles

I would say his book is the definitive text on the subject.

Stephen has written a good few books, many of which have been turned into films.

But, he recognised a problem that not just creative people felt when they sat down to write a book or paint a picture.

Anyone who ever had to start from a blank slate faced the same problem.

And my guess is, that includes you.

I think you will find his ideas very useful as you begin this journey with your business idea.

He has you nailed, make no mistake… J